Weight Loss Jokes


“Humor and patience are the camels that carry us through any desert.”

When dieting or changing our diet, we can sometimes feel like we are in a dry, barren desert. To make this desert seem a little bit more succulent, I have collected a few fun weight loss jokes… 😉

* If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?

* The Garlic Diet: You don’t lose weight; you just look thinner from a distance.

* I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 9 cookies.

* Welcome to the Weight-Loss Forum.
To lose one pound, double-click the mouse five million times.

* I gave up jogging for health reasons.
My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

* Don’t forget. You are what you eat….
I need to eat a skinny person.

* I’m on a seafood diet. Every food I see, I eat.

* Ladies – Want to drop 5 pounds? Let go of your purse.

* What’s your favorite exercise?

* I wish mosquitoes sucked fat, not blood.

* Calories (noun)
Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

* Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin.

* “Your order please.”
“3 hamburgers, 9 chicken nuggets and the XXL fries.”
“And a diet coke.”

* Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two…alone.

* I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

* It took a lot of will power. But I finally gave up dieting.

* All my life I thought air was free… until I bought a bag of chips.

* My fitness coach told me to bend down and touch my toes. I said, “I don’t have that kind of relationship with my   feet. Can I just wave?”

Do you know some health jokes or funny quotes about dieting, sports or weight loss that make you laugh? Share them with us!

In my next post you’ll learn how to prepare your perfect sports drink at home.

Bye for now,



Vera Schwaiger Vera studied dietetics & psychotherapy. She lives her life according to what Einstein once said: "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." View all posts by Vera Schwaiger